For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
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Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
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I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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