i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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