i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
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She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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