I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize