I met the friendliest cop last night
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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