I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize