i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize