Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
this will be a night to untag.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize