Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You surviving the open bar?
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Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize