is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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