My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
honey bunches of taint.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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