so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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