How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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