google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize