around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize