I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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