a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize