she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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