It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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