my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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