I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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