Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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