I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have demons in me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything about him screamed your future.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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