Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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