Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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