Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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