some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize