i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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