she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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