I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You are a genius and a whore.
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