I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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