Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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