I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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