And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize