You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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