Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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