His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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