dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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