I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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