ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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