Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize