can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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