I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize