My hand turned me down
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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