I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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