I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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