Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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