It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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