i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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