Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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